|Price of Gold Skyrockets as Team Gold Wins 2014 Playoff Championship Game|
Before the showcase began, Team Red used the spirit of their resting Goalie Ted “Stonewall” Jackson and corralled Team Black 4-2 sending Team Black into the abyss and in last place. Team Black, once a mighty champion and touted as the favourite to win it all not too long ago by Vegas now will send their longest serving member Ed Hussey to accept the dreaded “Figure Skate” trophy for a record 21 times.
The game voted by most as the “Championship game never to be played” between Team White and Team Blue gave it all in the middle game. Rivalry between these two teams is fierce and this last game will decide once and for all who has the bragging rights for the off season. As usual, the game is close with no room to maneuver until Team Blue Andrew Wozny got a breakaway, panicked and flipped the puck over the net. It was all downhill from then on. With the 4-1 win, Team White salvaged the season by establishing a new record as BOHA only team with Goals Against Average of under 3.00 in same season in Regular, Playoff Round Robin and Championship Night Game, a tribute to Team White defensive game.
By now, with over capacity crowd deafening roars, Pete smoked meat consumed at record pace, four officials system and Pied Piper blowing unknown off pitched tune, the 2014 Championship Game between Team Gold and Team Green got underway. A close 1-1 game with both goalies hanging on, soon it became 4-1 for Team Gold after a couple of individual efforts by Gold’s Dave Pollock. Captain Marco Romani, judging the game carefully, gave the instruction to start the reverse skate trap system but Team Green still has some tricks left and with James Lavoie top corner goal starting the comeback tying the game 4-4, the momentum shifted. With two minutes left in the game and sensing his presidential term about to expire and no legacy yet, Team Gold winger and BOHA President Terry O’Neill bursts down the right seam and slid a slow glider underneath Team Green Goalie David Wood stick for the winning goal. An empty net later and a 6-4 win, Team Gold sent the gold price sky high and tasted their first championship in the 21st century.
BOHA and Teams Green, Blue, White, Red and Black salute Team Gold Championship Players:
Goalie: Pierre Lacoste Backup Goalie: George Tan
Defence: Glen Brown, Karl Boivin, Paul Painter, Darrell Iron, Dave Pollock
Forwards: Eugene Bunys, Wayne Hart, Martin Kojoian, Greg Maloney, Peter McCusker, Terry O’Neill, Andrew Robertson, Marco Romani (Team Rep), Michael Rourke, John Glaser (Free Agent)
|Team Green Squeaks By Team White To Qualify For The Championship Game|
With the second place for the Championship game on the line, Team White just needed a tie to get into the Championship game for a record 27 times. But with a good record against Team White this season, Team Green was full of confidence especially when Team Green Rep Gord MacLellan threatened to stage a hunger strike if Playoff Format is not changed. The rogue tribunal formed of Team Green with advice from BOHA counsel formed of Team Gold, overruled the current Standings format. The classy Team White took the high road, but the road was just not wide enough to counter Team Green offense who came out like gangbuster and got a 2-0 lead. The proud Tem White, did not give up and tied the game with 2:30 minutes left. But it was not to be as Team Green, on their next rush came back to score off a knuckle shot rebound, added an empty net goal and eventually got into the Championship game with a 4-3 win.
With all other teams playing as supporting cast, the schedule next week to close out the 2013-14 season will have Team Red vs Team Black playing for the Figure Skate trophy at 8PM. The cursed Team Blue will try to take one back from Team White at 9PM and the Championship game will feature Team Gold and Team Green at 10PM.
BOHA Annual Culinary Delight Award:
BOHA Master Iron Chefs Spiro Krallis and Mark Dubois have unanimously awarded the 2013-14 Culinary Delight award to Team Black. Voting was close and only won on the last night when Paul Regimbal presented a four course meal of heated hot chicken Wings, Meatball, Seasoned pork strips and garlic bread, courtesy of Mrs. Regimbal.
Most often ordered award goes to Dagwoods Sandwiches with 98 times out of 186 opportunities, a 52.69 market share.
|Both Teams Red and Green Collude To Pull Goalies For Extra Attackers. Backfires For Team Red|
With one more game in the 2014 round robin playoff, Team Gold has clinched a spot in the Championship game. Three teams are officially out of the playoff picture. Team Blue, Team Black and Team Red are the candidates to play for the dreaded “Figure Skate” trophy. Team Green and Team White are playing for the other championship game spot with Team White holding on to a 5 goal cushion over Team Green.
For Team Gold, it was to secure first place and a bye into the Championship game. For Team Blue, it was desperation time. Less than a win and Team Blue will join the other 52 BOHA regular season champions as cheerleaders in the championship game. With the curse in full bloom, the curse man’s assistant “skate blade saboteur” did a number on Team Blue Free Agent Defenceman Craig Ross’s skate knocking him out of the game early. But the pressure was on the entire Blue team to perform. Not the case in this night as Team Gold Andrew Robertson was on a personal mission, scoring two goals and sealing Team Blue’s fate with a 5-1 win. The soaring Team Gold is now Vegas favourite to win it all with 2-1 odds despite a streak of 13 runner up position in their 13 appearances in the championship game. For Team Blue, they’ll be playing for the Figure Skate trophy and belting out Ladies Sing the Blues with lead singer Paul Belley.
Team Black, out of the picture already and the founding member of the 2014 Spoilers club did their best to be a good member and was looking good when they jumped to a 1-0 lead against Team White with 12 minutes left in the game on a fanned whack by Robert Bowrin. But Team White stayed on course and soon a stretch pass to Captain Ted Mulhern sent him on a breakaway and with his quick hands made the one two back hand move through Kerry Gillings five hole to tie the game. A minute later, it was Team White multi-tasker Jocelyn Lauzon turn with the night’s electric goal, a front slide reverse flip for the 2-1 lead. Then it was a matter of Team White’s four big D’s playing their game and playing out the clock for the win and began focusing on a new play book to limit Team Green to 5 shots before munching on Pete Smoked meat, courtesy of Yves Quenneville.
The only two teams left that had a chance to get to the final; Team Red skated and jumped to a 3-0 half time lead while Team Green was still trying to find their shooting game. Then James Lavoie took a shot to start the comeback and then it was 3-2. But a proud Team Red rebuilt the 2 goal lead on a two on one break with jet Jones scoring from a tape to tape pass from Mike Kneller. Team Green then took over and with two more goals tied the game with 4 minutes left. Desperate time for both teams to win, both teams pulled their goalies for extra attackers. The logic behind this move is still being debated but this unusual move is now being investigated for possible collusion between the teams. Some indications are pointing to potential payoff by Team Gold’s Mike “Air Hog” Rourke who prefers Team Red or Green in the Championship game. But no one is counting on the investigation to go anywhere as both BOHA legal counsels Marco Romani and Glen Brown are tied in with Team Gold. Nevertheless, the strategy messed up both teams but Team Green found a small hole through the crowded ice and slid their 5-4 winning goal into the empty net to give them a chance to qualify for the Championship game, albeit a small chance.
|Vegas Uses Brain Computer Technology Predicting 6 Points Enough To Get Into The Championship Game|
With every team still in the hunt for two Championship Game spots, Vegas has put the odds at 2-1 that the final two teams will only be known after the end of the final game in the final night of the playoff round robin. One thing is for sure; every team is refocusing their strategy as goal differential tie breaking formula is now in play and Week four will be the do or die game for some teams.
After a great start capturing 2 deserving points from Team Blue, Team Black is in a bit of a downward slide. Losing to Team Red in their last game has confused Team Black defensive strategy especially against Team Green, BOHA fastest breakout team this season. Two quick goals by Team Green set the game tone. With their reputation as BOHA best offensive team on the line, Team Black kept going but a few hit posts including one on a breakaway by Chris Wright when it was needed may have sealed Team Black’s fate. The unlucky Chris Wright is fighting through a personal -15 slump, but it is predicted that he will break out of it in the final game. For Team Green, the 5-2 win is still a one game at a time situation but kind of looking forward to knocking out Team Red in their next pivotal game.
Team Gold, confidence soaring after two impressive wins felt they deserve to do a bit of forward planning to the Championship Game until appointed BOHA VP Tournament Greg Maloney cautioned about predicting the unpredictable. Team Red, with their big win against Team Black the previous week, has their own idea against the full of confidence Team Gold. That they did, quickly jumping to a 3-0 lead. Another goal would have done it but a Seeing Eye goal got Team Gold back into the game and a few goals later, a momentary 4-3 lead. Taking matters into his hands, Team Red Dr. Heseltine diagnosed the team malaise and quickly filled his own prescription, scoring the tying 4-4 goal to keep his team in the hunt and in the process, voted unanimously as the "Electric Player of the game" by the 38 Field Reporters covering the game.
Owning the season against Team White with a 2-0-3 record, Team Blue was going for a three-peat. Never more than one goal differential in all the games during the regular season, this game was going to be no different and the bounce has to be just right for both teams to score. A tense game never seen before in front of a record breaking rowdy crowd, it was a seesaw battle. Using the blue line transition trap strategy, Team White played it to a tee and kept Team Blue snipers to a few perimeter shots. With the 3-1 solid win, Team White is now devising another play in the 379 plays book for the next crucial game against Team Black.
|A Wild Playoff Week From Kissin' Cousin To Predicting the Unpredictable|
Week 2 of BOHA Playoff is revealing the true nature of this hockey League unmatched anywhere. It is a wild league from kissin’ cousin to wild shootout. Las Vegas took a heavy hit when Jack Hubert, veteran Bookie hoodwinked Team Black Pierre Tardif into predicting the unpredictable losing entire Team Black Asset Portfolio.
The feature game of the week between Team Gold and Team White is exactly what it was advertised to be. Everyone knew it was going to be a tight game. It was so tight that Team Gold squeaked all the way to a 2-1 win when Team Gold Peter McCusker out stretched Team White Jamie Heward size 11 skates and deflected the winning goal with 2.5 minutes left. With the offense stymied by Team Gold defence all game long, Team White tried desperately with six attackers but could only managed to increase the total shot output to 8 for the game.
In the Team White closed door post game meeting, Team White honorary game analyst Claude Lapointe took the floor to voice his observation and imparted a passionate explanation:
“malgré une performance époustouflante de notre gardien nous avons encaisser la défaite – je crois que nous avons beaucoup de travail à faire du cote de notre attaque avant le prochain match …….. »
Unfortunately, speech was interrupted by pizza delivery and attention switched quickly to munching the all dressed, pepperoni and vegetarian delights courtesy of Jamie Heward.
For Team Gold, jubilation and excitement were quickly cautiously halted by Team President Marco Romani who’s seen this situation before when Team Gold went 2-0 in the 2010 playoff and then 0-3 the next 3 games missing the championship game by one point.
Realizing that their previous game was lifeless at best, Team Blue brought out their groupies to add encouragement to their do or die match against Team Green, who is also on the tight rope. One more loss by either team and the status might change from playoff contender to member of the exclusive spoilers club. Team Green came out using their well known speed to go up 2-0 and silent the groupies for a while, but not for long. With their own bright light peeking around the corner, a desperate Team Blue needed some life to get them going. Louis Pallay, with a bit of shady connections, got his groupies going, distracting Team Green Goalie Dave Wood long enough to let a few meaningless shots found some holes and instead of a projected 3-2 win and sending Team Blue to the afterlife, Team Green has a noose around their neck with the 6-3 loss and bright light is about to glow, 7 days away.
A very happy Team Blue Louis Pallay, got his reward and did not care about violating a very strict BOHA ‘Limits of Celebration Statute’ and now is under investigation by BOHA Morality Division. Evidence has been submitted to BOHA Judge Marco Romani and Legal Counsel Glen Brown, both members of Team Gold, Team Blue next opponent.
Odds of winning increasing to 190,000 - 2 odds, experienced bookie Jack Hubert and Team Red super senior, in the underground booking business since time immemorial, quietly took a side bet from Team Black Captain Pierre Tardif, who gambled with Team Black entire Pooled Funds into Jack's coffer and loudly and boldly predicted tripling their asset. It was looking good with a 3-0 lead but somewhere into the second period, entire Team Black disappeared without a trace and with capacity crowd cheering on Jack Hubert’s second goal of the season, Team Red broke their 4 month winless streak with the 8-5 win and back in the playoff picture at least for another week.
With all search assets deployed to the Indian Ocean area, Team Black might be out of luck finding their game and their asset.
|JP Mayer Jr. Two Goals Sinks Regular Season Champion Team Blue|
BOHA 2014 playoff starts off predictably with a first game loss handed to the regular season champion for a record 43 times since BOHA officially started some 52 years ago.
Team Black, with history on their side, lives up to it playing one of their best controlled games of the year. Ken Rowe, the game changer, caused havocs all game long to Team Blue, controlling play, back checking and scoring a beautiful top shelf goal. But it was JP Mayer Jr. quietly scoring a couple of goals, the second one a stretch pass from Chris Wright and a rehearsed one two angled backhand move that catapulted him into the record book. With his two goals, he has one more career playoff goal than the Senior Mayer and first player to join the “Curseman Club 2014”. A happy JP Mayer Jr. happily posed a picture with Curseman President elect in their private section. Team Blue did not go down without a fight but the heavy burden was just too much to handle especially when BOHA parent team Canadiens 1984 number 18,019 draft pick Kerry Gillings stood his ground keeping the 3-2 lead and closing the door despite being run over by Team Blue Goon Squad, not once but twice. Team Blue players, facing a heavy burden, must get back on track. Team Blue still has a chance but must practice on their 6 on 3 power play formation.
Team White, watching the previous game, took note and with an inspirational short speech from Team GM Ted Mulhern…..
"""""We "springed" forward...so that must mean it's BOHA playoff time or March madness for you basketball fan(s). With no curse to overcome, we now have no excuse or so I am told. Besides, we don't want Blue to win this thing after all their whining last week.Play hard, play safe, go easy on our refs!""""""""
went out and played their famous conservative defensive game to a tee. Team Red was not going to buy it and with everything to gain, played proudly, even briefly holding on to a 3-2 lead for 20 seconds. But tough time still looms over Team Red this season and eventually succumbed to a few more goals and a 7-3 loss. Still a bit of light at the end of the cosmic tunnel to look forward to, it is however 28,000 light years away for Team Red.
Known as the possums of BOHA, Team Gold and Team Green are waking up just in time. It was a seesaw game with plays edging towards Team Green. Even holding on to a 2-0 lead. But Team Gold took some seeing eye shots and sooner than later, it was a 3-2 lead and a win for team Gold. With Vegas giving them a 6-3 odds to win it all, Team Gold is predicted to be right up there in the mix. Advanced ticket sales are going strong and will be sold out when Team Gold takes on Team White in the feature game of the week in Round 2.
BOHA Darien Announcement …….
Only 2 weeks away, Adam Belley asks those interested to bring in the deposit next game to secure a place in the BOHA mobile. BOHA mobile takes off from Beaconsfield Arena on March 28, Friday 8am and returns Sunday around 8PM. For those not sure what’ it’s like, you will not regret it !!!!
|BOHA and all Teams Salute Regular Season Champion Team Blue|
Seems like only yesterday when all the team representatives were drafting their players and already 24 weeks later, the regular season champion will be decided in the last game of the regular season.
During the off season, Team Blue unloaded a few contracts to make room for the new salary cap. Fast forward to March 4, Team Blue faced their biggest game of the year. Two points ahead of their arch rival Team White, a tie will secure the long elusive title of Regular Season champion. With a few brilliant moves by General Manager Adam Belley during the off season draft and some mid season moves, Team Blue went on a rampage securing 24 out of 28 points in the last 14 games to the showdown game. After a brilliant in the air swipe goal by BOHA 2014 MVP Andre Blanchette for a Team Blue 1-0 lead, Team White scored 3 goals to lead 3-1. A few rare mistakes by Team White created a couple of 2 on one’s for Paul Belley who did not make any mistake scoring 2 and tying the Game in the first half, raising his goals to a career high of 3 and goals per shot average to 0.00009. Team White kept pressing, scoring another to go up by one but another errant pass to Gino Pallante in the slot sealed the deal for Team Blue. With the 4-4 tie, Team Blue, after a long 52 year wait, is finally crowned the regular season champion.
Another 4 pointer game, a win for Team Green would have given them third place but more importantly, a couple of better 10:50PM games. But after a close 4-4 tie in the first half, a few leaks here and there near the end of the game finished that hope and handed Team Gold a better schedule. Team Gold has high hopes for the playoff round robin with history on their side. Teams that finished in 3rd place in even year have won 29 playoff championships.
Another filler game and going nowhere, both Team Red and Team Black captains gave their players the night off, on and off the ice. The game was fast, time wise, and sooner than later Team Black prevailed with a 5-3 win and happy to close off the regular season and start fresh next week.
BOHA Playoff and Competition Board Newsletter ……
The preferential treatment to teams is now abolished for the Playoff round. Every team starts off even, more or less. As Captains are formulating and arranging behind the scene roster settings and maneuvering, BOHA announces that all players missing must clicked in and allow the system to do the work when replacement players are needed. Pending is still in place and Spares Coordinators are instructed to interfere to ensure fair competition. Only Team Blue is approved for an additional player, the Curse Man.
A few BOHA Regular Season Awards:
Best GAA award: Team White, 2.92 including 4 empty net goals.
Best Versatile Player: Team White Jocelyn Lauzon, Goalie, Defence and Forward
Best GM and Maneuver man: Adam Belley
Shortest Game: Keith Bertoia, 8 minutes
Most Cement Hands: 99.99% of Bohaniens
|Team Blue Guaranteed a Chance for First Place. Team White in Perfect Spot.|
With one game left to go in the regular season, a few scenarios are developing, some good and some not so good. First game next week between Team Blue and Team White will decide the Regular Season Champion and the first team in BOHA history to break the curse of Regular Season Champion never to win the Playoff Champion. The second game is basically for salvaging the pride and the last game is just a bonus game for the loyal fans who bought their tickets on points.
Week 23 started off with Team Blue continuing their dream trip. Not since 1984 has a Team Blue been as high in the standings when current Team Blue stay home Defenceman Keith Imhoff was the Norris Trophy finalist. Thirty years later, Keith has earned a trip to Vietnam and a few walking tours to refresh and recharge those legs and get ready for the playoff drive. With the depth of this team, a 6-0 win over Team Black was like a short but pleasant stroll. For Team Black, who is still satisfied to close out the year in 5th place, it was frustration for most of the night trying to score on call up goalie Carlo Ricciardi causing some comments in the dressing room perhaps sending a few of their players on a one way trip somewhere. For Team Blue, Team GM Adam Belley will be on a scouting trip to continue the quest but the team is in good hands for the battle against Team White in the team biggest game of the year so far.
The most dangerous team under the radar lately, Team Green has been on a winning streak. Extending the streak to a season high 3 games and no reason not to continue, the latest victim was Team Red who continues to struggle with their defensive game. Trying a bit harder to break out of the slump since November, a few unlucky slips caused some turnovers as is with the case this year, all mistakes seem to end up in the net. Still, led by Alan Turpin who does not want to be in the record book with the most losses in his BOHA career, the team fought hard to get back but the gap was just a bit too much for a comeback. Officially in last place, Team Red is not giving up and plans are already in the works to surprise the doubters when Playoff rolls around.
Not knowing what Team Gold, who had ten AWOL players, is going to ice other than quality call ups, Team White 6th assistant strategist Glenn Watt, a seasoned traveler, mostly to warm spots, impart some of his worldly experience and devised a Gold Medal strategy game. After a deflection to go down 1-0 to Team Gold early in the game, Team White stayed on course and soon strategy version 6.2 paid off winning 3-1, securing at least the perfect 2nd place position in the Standings and maybe a second choice first place next week against Team Blue.
BOHA Call Ups Dept.
With many regular players missing or will be missing in the next few weeks, BOHA Call ups Dept. is asking all spares who are not clicked in and who can play in the next few weeks to communicate with our spares coordinators Kerry Gillings (Gillings@time.ca) or Ted Jackson (email@example.com) in advance. They can assist and get you a game even if you do not match the ranking.
|Large Crowd at Donation Night ! New Playoff Balancing Group Looks On|
Looking proud and fit for the occasion, Charity Tournament President Paul Regimbal, Donation Committee Chairman Scott Meehan, BOHA President Terry O’Neill and many Bohaniens distributed cheques to many worthy recipients. Just a bit of extra financial assistance to assist them in continuing their great missions. Trying to sneak in was Team Blue looking for funds for their high priced two goalie system. Keith Bertoia, after a long respite to strengthen the hip core, got approval from his personal trainer to go into action putting Team Blue in a salary cap situation.
The pre-donation game saw Team Red came out peppering Team White with precision scoring chances while Team White new Defence Corps was still introducing to each other. But so often this season for Team Red, their fate was sealed early when Ken Labelle found himself in front of the net and shot into the goalie basket and then shot into the goalie stick handle knob with 30 seconds left in the first half on a breakaway. Then it was Team Red offensive Defenceman Ben Chiasson who took to heart Team White goalie George Tan advice during the warm up to shoot off speed if he wants to score and getting himself all confused. Once Team White new D Corps got to know one another on a first name basis, it was a matter of putting a few shots together and then protecting the 7-1 lead and on the way to winning the Ron Burla Trophy. For Team Red, with two games left, a small hurdle still to go over. Win one of the last two games or it’s another record for first team in BOHA long history not to win a game in the second half.
Team Gold, now 3 points behind Team White for the coveted second place and a slight chance to take over Team Blue for first place, took the every man on his own strategy against Team Blue for this important 4 pointer game. Not a worry for Team Blue who is refining their goalie system for the Playoff. With a potential salary cap violation, GM Adam Belley took a chance to sign hipster Keith Bertoia to a warm up and 10 minute tryout contract. A few spectacular new technique saves and a 3-1 lead, Keith gave way to back up goalie Steve Poirier to mop up the 7-4 win. In an exclusive photo and interview with Field Reporter, Keith confirms he’s passed the physical push up test of two and feels ready and confident his new technique, the side flop double pad stack move, will be his go to save. Dilemma looms in the air for Team Blue while waiting for league decision on the salary cap of the two goalie system.
The fill in game between Team Green and Team Black was just that. Win or lose, both teams were going to stay where they are, in fourth and fifth place. Nothing to win or lose other than to extend a winning streak, Team Green continues the win streak with an easy 5-2 win. Team Black continues to struggle with their roster with two unapproved misses, but Team Rep Pierre Tardif is still satisfied staying put in fifth place. Team Green was jubilant in their win and celebrated Gord Parkinson 2 goals with Subway Specials, much chagrin to Spiro Krallis who thought he had Dagwoods exclusive, but congratulated Gord anyway for the long awaited goals, since 1989 and the Player of the Night award with a trial membership with BOHA newly formed exclusive soft hands club.
|Pop Fly Net A Tie For Team Red But Broke Winless Streak Record|
BOHA “Donation Night” Ceremony is next week, February 18. The first game is at 7PM. Donation ceremony is at 8:20PM centre ice. The next two games will be normal at 9:25PM or earlier and 10:50PM or earlier. BOHA requests that all Bohaniens attend the award ceremony to show the many recipients what we are all about.
With three games remaining in the regular season schedule, Team Gold has now officially joined Team Blue and Team White in the hunt for the regular season trophy and become the first team to get the chance of breaking the longest winless streak record in BOHA history of regular season champion never to win the playoff title. Vegas has predicted that this is a very good year to break the dreaded record as Jupiter will be aligned with the moon and has adjusted the payback odds to 1 - 2,400,000, an improvement over two weeks ago when the odds were 1 – 5,000,000.
Week 21 started with Team Green applying the same winning strategy the last time they played Team White. Unfortunately, Team White also applied the same losing strategy the last time they played Team Green. The result was fifteen breakaways and odd man rushes counting six goals. With the 7-4 win, Team Green still has a chance to catch up to Gold, maybe White. For Team White, GM Ted Mulhern on a Chicago scouting trip, heard the result from CHUM radio man Rob Kemp and text messaged to whoever cared to read and ordered no more putting pictures on the Team White Championship photo.
Meanwhile, Team Gold is putting up a drive that’s never seen before. With 8 out of 10 possible points since the Christmas break, Team Gold is now favoured to take it all; especially Greg Maloney has changed the combination on the lock to keep the Golden Curse behind bars during the drive. Satisfied being in 5th place but still vying for at least 4th, Team Black goalie Kerry Gillings had a shutout game going to keep his team in the game. On the south side, Team Gold goalie Pierre Lacoste had the same idea till the halfway point of the third period when his Team Gold Dave Pollock rushed in and scored a top shelf backhander. A few more goals later, it was a 3-1 win for Team Gold. No big deal for Team Black. GM Pierre Tardif is still satisfied staying in 5th place.
With Guinness Book of Record officials at hand to validate the potential record breaking game between Team Red and Team Blue, Team Red finally played like there’s no tomorrow and matched Team Blue stride for stride and goal for goal. With 26.2 seconds left in the game and Team Red down 5-4 goalie Ted Jackson was pulled. Looking from the bench with six attackers crowding in front of the Blue net, the puck popped up 15 feet in the air. A few bounces and swipes later, jubilant Team Red players celebrated the tying goal. A moral victory and a confidence booster in the 5-5 tie game. Sadly for Team Red, the Guinness Record Officials had validated their archives and confirm each of the Red Players will receive a certificate for the unwanted record.
Certificate of Non Achievement Award to Team Red for Team Longest Winless Streak:
General Manager and Team Representative: Kieran Hackett
Defence: Benoit Chiasson, Andre Martin, Dave the Dude Connell, Tom Simpson
Forwards: Kevin Gill, Dan Goodale, Geoff Heseltine, Jack Hubert, Jeff Jones, Mike Kneller, Kenny Labelle, David Pelletier, Bob Saharov, Alan Turpin.
Guinness Record Association, Hockey Division
|Team Gold Edges Team White in Team of Month Award by 1 vote|
After week 20, games are as tight as ever and the top three teams continue to go after the dreaded first place with Team of the Month Team Gold gaining one point on both Teams Blue and White and picking up momentum along the way. Team Blue, feeling the heat has requested BOHA Curse Committee to release the Golden Curse who is currently in custody behind bars.
Team Red, determined not to break the “Longest winless streak” record in their illustrious history, competed and held the edge for a while, even a brief 2-1 lead for almost the first half. But sadly, the way the season is going for this proud team, it was a matter of time before Team Black found their skating legs scoring six more goals, winning 7-3 and assisted Team Red in establishing a team record of longest 8 winless streak since the founding of BOHA 52 years ago prompting Team Spokesman and can collector Jack Hubert, who was in that 1964 Red team that held the record as a 35 year old rookie to speak out while Ben Chiasson, Mike Kneller and Alan Turpin were more interested in munching 12 lbs of chicken wings courtesy of Andre Martin.
Promoted as BOHA “Game of the Week”, Team Blue and Team White did not disappoint the capacity crowd of eight huddled in Section 1A. Team White came out fast and furious, controlled the first 10 minutes then it was Team Blue turn to pour it on in the last 10 minutes. 0 – 0 tie going into the second half, game was intense but long story short, Team White needed a goal with 26.2 seconds on the clock to earn a 3-3 tie. Both teams were exhausted but enjoyed what has become the type of game played whenever these two teams meet. They meet one more time in the last game of the regular season to see who might just clinch first.
Team Green, sensing a win will get them to one point behind Team Gold, dominated Team Gold for most part of the game. A great skating team, Team Green did just that but was countered by Team Gold strategy of trap play by their 5th line of Wayne Hart, Eugene Bunys and Martin Kojoian while Team Gold sniper and Call up Chris Parkinson threw a couple of Howitzers from the blue line at Team Green Goalie Dave Wood to set the tone and easily winning 7-3. Team Gold, the now up and coming team is officially in the elite top tier group especially after earning “The Team of The Month” award.
|Three Way Race for the Regular Season Champion With 5 Games To Go Before Playoff|
With five games left in the regular season, it looks like it is going to be a three way race for the dreaded first place, but momentum is what Teams Blue, White and Gold want and all three teams are going all out to get seeded as number one into the playoff round.
Not too long ago, Team Green was in the basement and on the protected species list with “Quality Callups” status. Judging from their 5-1 win last night against Team Blue, they are now off the list after outplaying and outshooting Team Blue in the entire game. They are now classified as the premier team in the lower echelon. For Team Blue, nothing to worry about yet, just a minor setback but now is recalling John Hamilton for the next crucial game against Team White for first place and in the meantime, brilliant draft strategist Team President Adam Belley takes the next game off to do some "Next move" planning.
Team Red appeared to be on the road back after previous week disaster against Team Blue but a few quick goals started off by Team Gold and BOHA Legal Counsel Glen Brown dampened that plan and now must wait for another week to break out of this horrible slump since November. Team Red, the team with 15 regular season championship rings has a proud history and might deploy their yet to be tested strategy #9, the inverted block shot formation in their next encounter with Team Black, as soon as they know which players Team Black will have on the roster.
With two premier defencemen missing and all Callups reserved by Team Black, Team White 3rd alternate captain Gary MacLellan along with inputs from offensive coordinators Rick Wyjad, Glen Watt and Mark Uchwat submitted roster #7 to Sister Sarah MacLellan at the Master Clock station. With BOHA most versatile position player Jocelyn Lauzon in the rear guarding the “Wall of China”, it was a matter of keeping the score close in the first half and then chip away and taking the two important points in the 4-1 win to keep Team Blue at sight and stay ahead of Team Gold who is only 4 points behind and pursuing hard with their 5-3 win over Team Red. A sigh of relief after the game and third consecutive Dagwoods Sandwiches courtesy of Dr. Claude, Team White Captain Ted Mulhern delivered a post game statement to the Field Reporters Association:
"Team Black loaded up with mostly "primo" spares were primed to take on a depleted White squad.
Team White management was forced to make an executive decision and pressed the "polyvalent" Jocelyn into D service. Using a 3D rotation and the ol' forcheck, backcheck = paycheck formula ok the trap, White skated away with a much deserved 4-1 win and foiled the Spare Gods in the process".
BOHA Callups Department News ....
With missing revenue from four unfilled callups, BOHA Callups Dept. is putting on a special for the rest of the season. Teams who click Miss early will get special "Quality" callups.
|Team Blue Is All Business While Team Green Solves Team White Secret Recipe|
After another negotiated “week off” by the powerful BOHA Players Union, every team is eager to come back to start the Playoff preparation. While most teams are struggling to win or lose, only Team Blue is coasting and serving notice to the rest that they are determined to go over the curse hump no matter what you throw at them and after last night, the curse gods are busy devising new hump strategy.
The curtain opened to two teams fighting to be in sole third place position. Team Black controlled the first half of the game and the lead till Team Gold dusted the dirt off their sweaters collected during the off week to mount a comeback. A seesaw battle to the end, Team Gold prevailed in this playoff type game and kept second place at sight with a very close 5-4 win. No one is writing the Black off yet. It’s a matter of time before Ken Rowe who had one or two goals and the best offensive team gets going again.
Team Green did not care about being in fifth place. They were focused on this night’s game and that they did, employing the trapezoid defence box to the tee, frustrating Team White attacks again and again and then unleashed their reverse two on one breakout formation with precision scoring 3 goals off the planned rebounds and a deserving 5-2 win giving them a bit of a breathing room from Team Red. As for Team White, it was a temporary breakdown that is easily corrected, according to Team analyst Claude Lapointe and then started munching on Dagwoods sandwiches, courtesy of Brad Belvedere.
Team Blue, who has lost only one game since September is now entrenched as Vegas favourite with the odds of 1-1.05 and that is after the Take, unheard of in the booking world. Even Team Blue Investment manager Keith Imhoff is temporarily suspending his bets on his team. Team Red, trying to stay close to Team Green, appealed and got a couple of quality call ups through some connections in the city council, but sadly for Team Red at least for this game, Team Blue showed no mercy and took no prisoners, found many holes and smashed Team Red into submission with a 12-5 win.
BOHA Click Miss Dept.
After a couple of games since the new “Click Miss” policy was in effect, things are going well. The Defence Federated Union is happy now with only four D’s most of the time. Only one hold out, a Team Red player who shall remain nameless did not click Miss and now holds the record as the first player in BOHA history to get billed for the “Spare fee”.
|BOHA ALL Stars Website Support Team|
With the off week, we thought we might share with all Bohaniens what makes BOHA tick. No doubt everyone realizes a volunteer organization cannot run without people putting their valuable time in. Financial support is also critical. All you business owners who have a website with applications can appreciate the expense of building, maintaining and enhancing a site. BOHA is very fortunate to have a great support group to keep our SpareManager site thriving. So we thought we should salute each of them and share some highlights of what they do. Give them some considerations when a need occurs. Support those who support us.
Freedom55Financials – Like it says, it’s a great place to build your business. If you’re looking for a career change or to run your own business, give Roger Richard a jingle or click the ad, fill and send the simple confidential “request for information” form and he’ll promptly get back to you. Hear him out, you have everything to gain.
Location Ideal – Got some renovation or construction work on the go or in the plan? Why spend big bucks for tools and equipment. Location Ideal is perfect for you. Tools big and small, containers, field operations equipment like trailers for long and short term rentals. Take advantage of the January special, rent a tool and Mike will let you get around him!!
Dagwoods Sandwiches – No doubt support by the Bohaniens is here from all the Dagwoods sandwiches in the dressing rooms. Spiro and all his associates appreciate it and we all appreciate Dagwoods for their continued support!!!
Don Vito-O’Neill-Gagne & Associates – Not sure how to handle what the financial marketplace has to offer or simply to get your asset in order to protect the family? Better yet, get your portfolio to the next level especially when RRSP season is just around the corner? Let Terry guide you through this complex topic with personal and professional sound advice.
Pazazz - To provide the convenience of a one stop shop, you’ve got to have the equipment and services all under one roof. The only printer in Canada to qualify for this category, their Digital, Print, Label or signage equipment and services make them a true partner for all your marketing and packaging printing needs. Pazazz serves the Pharmaceutical/Alcohol and Spirits / Food Manufacturing / Fashion / Marketing Agencies and other industries. Give Dave O’Hara a call.
Marine St. Anne – To the water craft owners, need maintenance help? Parts, accessories, repair work, docking or just plain advice about your water vehicles? Kerry Gillings is your guy to go to. Just like keeping the goals out, he’ll keep the water out of your craft.
Real Estate Broker Lynn Gauthier - It’s almost that time. Looking for a property? Need your real estate value properly assessed? Need to know the market condition? With a solid agency like Remax and efficient marketing tools, Lynn Gauthier personal attentiveness is the foundation to guide you through to a successful transaction.
Sorella Mayer – In trouble or just need some counsel on corporate, business and family legal opinions. Jean-Philippe is your man to go to. Quiet but effective is what Jean-Philippe is all about.
Elan Skis – The most innovative brand in sports equipment, visit Elan Skis website and see all the latest Elan skis, products and the ski world. Give Eugene a call if you need a retailer to go to.
Fiscale-Expert - Need some tax guidance or tax preparation for you, family, business or consultation? Visit Fiscale-Expert website, there's a wealth of information and give Will Oliver a call.
Gargul General Contractor – Quality is synonymous with the work Neil does. Pictures speak louder than words. Check out the website and you’ll see the attention to details and surroundings. Taking the time to understand your needs and seeing it through is what Neil Gargul is all about. Reliability is paramount for him and attested by all the missed games in order to finish a commitment.
Here they are, BOHA ALL Stars Website Support Team. Want to get on this team? Some exciting spots still available. Contact George Tan (450-458-2816). The financial support is minimal and the site visitors continue to grow.
SEE YOU ALL NEXT TUESDAY
|Cold Showers Greet All BOHA Teams. Affected Teams Red, Gold and Green|
BOHA opens year 2014 with predictable results. Cold shower, all the underdogs lost and the league reporting an increase of 300 kilogram from the season opening weigh in back in August 2013 to now a total weight of 8181.81 tons including the executives. Councilman Dave Pelletier took in this consideration and had the ice surface increased by 2 inches to handle the load. Nobody including the zebras could see the markings on the ice but it held up well and no cracks.
The opening bell started with Team White and Team Red both cautiously weighing each other. Team Red had the upper hand in the first half by a slight margin but Team White Defensive Corps played big and kept it at 0-0. Predictably, Team White forwards started to come around and long story short, a 6-0 win. Back at the dressing room, a confident Team White opened the doors to the Field Reporter for some photo shoots during strategy discussion about whose picture to go on the championship photo including Team Red's "Dude" who is listening attentively to Brad Belvedere advice while everyone munches on Dagwoods sandwiches, diet chips and some cold beverages courtesy of Team GM Ted Mulhern.
Team Blue, whose weight increase is mainly from the bogeymen curse on their shoulders, continues their quest to dislodge the unwanted creatures and routed Team Gold 5-2 to remain in first place. How long can they hold on remains to be seen especially when the bogeymen are happily entrenched as shown in their recent photo. For Team Gold, it’s just a slight setback. With their talents, it’s a matter of time before points start coming in again, maybe as early as next game when they battle it out with Team Black to stay in third place.
A 6-2 loss is not what Team Green has in their recipe to start the year but remaining in 5th place and out of the basement is better than nothing, at least for another week. Still one point ahead of Team Red, Team Green tried all kinds of move to get some cushion points including a deceptive “Sweater color” move resulting in a goal by call up Ben Lesperance who wore an almost black green sweater for a brief 1-0 lead. After a mild protest from Team Black goalie Kerry Gillings, a sweater change was ordered and things went downhill for Team Green and uphill for Team Black easily winning 6-2 and in solid third place, 4 goal differentials ahead of Team Gold.
BOHA News Dept.
You will notice that “Pending” replacing some missing players. These are players that are not replaced. BOHA happily announce the new “Pending” rule is working well despite a few hold outs. It is expected these holdouts will join the mainstream once they are tired of paying the spare fees and will start clicking miss.
BOHA stipulates after the grace period which expires on January 21, regardless of reasons, anyone who does not click miss will be billed the spare fee. BOHA Legal counsel advice that if you’re not sure you could make it to a game due to family or work commitments, you still need to click miss and if you are replaced, show up anyway and play with full roster.
The “Pending” rule was introduced by the Defence Federation and unanimously voted in by the 30 members.
Other news ……….
It appears a few Bohaniens were not good boys and did not get a present from hockey Santa. Notably Greg Maloney shredded pants, Ken Labelle still sporting 2 color socks from his peewee days.
And finally, no games next week, January 14. A reminder to those spares who clicked in as available to play. It’s gonna be a long wait.
|BOHA Closed Year 2013 with Great Entertainments and Great Shredded Beef|
In the last games of 2013, all teams were desperate to win or at least get a tie to close the year off with a smile. Unfortunately for Teams Black, Red and Gold, there was no smiling. Only the great food & beverages by BOHA Culinary Dept. of “The Dude” and “Spiro” made the holiday rest a bit easier to digest.
Leading off the night, Team Black came up blank early and then individual play started setting in when they got behind against the now undisputed heavyweight of BOHA, Team Blue. With the 4-0 win against the best offensive team, it is projected that, Team Blue will be crowned, relatively speaking, as the regular season champion in not too distant time, barring unforeseen and uncontrollable events and the everlasting “Curse” bonus.
No one wants to finish the year in the bottom of the pile so for Team Green, the solution was easy. Win and 5th place is theirs. Team Green did just that, outscoring Team Red 5-3 to move up in the standings to 5th place for the rest of the year, the best they could do for now, one point ahead of Team Red and more importantly out of the damp basement. Team Red fought valiantly but in the end, an open net goal by Team Green sealed the deal against them and the remaining 2013 will just be a little damper and longer for them.
In front of the biggest crowd of the year munching away the culinary delights, Team White, making sure they stay abreast to Team Blue and creating a bit of separation room with the surging Team Gold, had their “before the game” shot ritual again. Since it was a crucial game, it had to be a double dose. It was a hard fought game and both teams did not disappoint the capacity crowd with entertaining moves and the old “Loyola vs LCC” rivalry going on. Team White Jamie Heward and Team Gold Peter McCusker had a bit of a tango along the boards, not once but twice. And then it was David Newell and Glen Brown. Finally Brad Belvedere and Paul Painter had disagreement between them. In the end, it was playoff hockey style and Team White Jocelyn Lauzon sneaked the 2-1 winning goal by Team Gold Call up Shawn Farrell. If history is to repeat, the interim Standings now is identical to 1992 when Team White went on to finish the regular season in second place and won the Championship game with then and now retired goalie Ron Burla, who was in his prime before tangling with the CP train. Ecstatic with the news and the win, Team White Jamie, David and Brad extended their hands to Peter, Glen and Paul. All happily put their differences aside and took the photo shoot opportunity except Painter, who was still griping about nothing while finger point something to Brad.
And soon, rink attendants Yves and his cohort Terry, happy with the annual X’mas gratitude provided by all Bohaniens, gave the “DIX MINUTES” sign and after all the well wishes said and done, each Bohanien went into his own dream world hoping to wake up outshining the sun and what 2014 will bring.
BOHA 2013 Last Night Awards:
Team White Jocelyn Lauzon. Versatile forward and only undefeated goalie to date. Scored the last 2013 winning goal receiving 36 first place votes. Tie breaker vote was from Team White awesome President, General Manager and Team Rep Ted Mulhern. To commemorate this event, the Team White famous Championship picture has resurfaced and Jocelyn is the first face to fill the picture.
Runner up Best Player:
Team Blue Spiro Krallis. Solid D in the 4-0 win receiving 35 first place votes. Unfortunately Team Blue also awesome President, General Manager and Team Rep Adam Belley went to some Seamen Brothers Convention and did not cast a vote. But no qualms from Spiro, he is delighted to be named as Super Iron Chef 2013 by BOHA Master Iron Chef Mark Dubois.
Hockey Operations Announcement:
BOHA Spare program is working very well. However, not many are buying in to the “15 Players” roster causing shortages in many nights. Starting in 2014, BOHA Executive has approved the “4D’s Roster” rule. The process will be automated to assist all and take away Team Reps manually handling it.
During the holiday break, IT Dept. will be implementing and enhancing system to handle the “4 D’s Optimal Roster”. VP on Ice Jack Digiacomo will communicate with Team Reps what to expect. More of this and other news to follow.
From The Field Reporters Association, a Happy, Prosperous and Safe Happy Holiday to all subscribers,
Field Reporter, Associate Field Reporter, Asst. Field Reporter and all Field Reporter Trainees
|Team Blue Undisputed BOHA Team of the Month|
One week before the Holiday break, three teams got their early presents and the other three are hoping to get one next week.
Not too long ago, Team green was right up there battling for first place with Team White. That is now a distant memory after a 4-3 loss to Team Gold, their 6 straight losses. Team Gold, with 10 points in their last 6 games, is steadily climbing the Standings board. Keep playing like they do and first place by the New Year is within reach.
Team White, in first place most of season, has been toppled by the new kid on the block. Team Blue, another team steadily on the rise and voted by the Field Reporters Association as Team of the Month, shows why with a 4-3 win and the first place to go with it. Team White, in the second slump of the year, is now looking for another pre-game beverage and team President Ted Mulhern has suspended filling in the faces in the Championship picture.
Team Red, who is averaging 7 goals for or against in the last three games, did it again, this time, on the against side losing 7-4 to Team Black. Next week is the crucial week for Team Red as their opponent, Team Green, will be going after them in the "Battle of the Inepts" game next week to close out the 2013 schedule.
Reminder to all …………………
Games are one hour long next week. 8, 9 and 10pm. BOHA X-mas Committee is planning the food & beverages. All Bohaniens; Regulars, Spares and Alumnis are encouraged to show up, mingle and shoot the s..t with the boys before the two week holiday rest.
|Team Blue BOHA New Destiny Team. Voted as Team of The Week 14|
With two games left before the holiday break, every team has different agenda. Some to finish first. Some to get out of the bottom pile. But every team has one common goal, to get a few more points before the end of 2013. After last night games, 3 teams accomplished the goal and the other 3 have to wait for next week.
After a long layoff, Team Red back stopper Ted “Stonewall” Jackson made his debut with a roundabout game. Signs of the glorious past were there but after the long rest, it was a bit rusty and a few left shots went right and a few right shots went left confusing his defencemen who stood to watch Team Gold free whacks at the rebounds and down 4-1. With the rust out of the way, Team Red did not give up and soon it was 4-3. Overall, it was a satisfying 8-5 loss especially when Ted stopped Eugene Bunys 4 times and keeping Eugene at the bottom of the league in goals/shot percentage of 0.00090.
Team Black, in cahoots with the other teams to unseat Team White, accomplished it with a 4-3 win grounding Team White at least temporarily for another week. With the minor setback, Team White may have to stop filling in the faces on the champions picture, hit the pre-game bottle again and downsize the plan to just finishing on top for the holiday break. Team Black, voted by the Field Reporters Association as the best offensive team continues to live up to its reputation with Rob Bowrin now leading the league with 102 shots and finally climbing out to second last spot in goals/shot percentage of 0.00091, just ahead of Team Gold Eugene Bunys.
Team Blue who has amassed 14 points since their food & beverage hunger strike, has put that aside and is now playing awesome hockey, best in the league for over two months. Almost 2 points assured every time they step on the ice, Team Green was not going to let it happen easily. A close game and a 1 -1 tie, Team Green came close to going ahead with a few minutes left, but Team Blue new addition Andy Wozny took the matter in his own hands, skated in and scored on his own rebound. Another goal later and Team Blue is now Team of the Week and might be in first place after their game against Team White next week.
|Team White Impressive. Players Picking Spot To Put Their faces In The Championship Picture|
In the critical week 13, BOHA Prediction Dept. issued the projected Champion of the season. Upon hearing the broadcast, all the remaining teams are now in full battle mode placing a huge target on Team White and to prove the league wrong in their bold prediction. Statistics already showing roster maneuvering by some teams to teach Team White not to be so coc...
Team Green was given the first task of unseating Team White and came out in a blockbuster fashion easily scoring 5 goals and a 5-1 lead. The score would have been higher if not for the heroics of Call up goalie Jocelyn Lauzon making a few flop saves. With pressure now on Team White to uphold the prediction, the chip and fore-check game soon started and by the end of the buzzer, a 6-5 win and another 2 points collected and looking forward to the next game. With this impressive comeback win, Team White players retired to the dressing room to start picking the spot where each face should be in the Championship Team picture released by BOHA while enjoying the Kojak wraps, chicken in aluminum foil, eastern rice topped with lettuce cuisine and tequila rimmed with lime, courtesy of the yet to be defeated goalie Jocelyn Lauzon.
Trying to get 2 points at BOHA this season is a big challenge. Most coaches are trying to move up the standings with the goal differential. Thinking alike, Teams Red and Blue went out with the trap game. After a close first half, both Coaches Kieran Hackett and Adam Belley soon realized the strategy is not working and gave the order to open up. Like good listeners sometimes, the troops went to their offensive formation and a 6-6 tie and 0 goal differential. A satisfying one point each, both coaches went back to their dressing rooms to dream up other strategies for the next game, especially Team Red, who now drops to fourth place behind Team Gold.
Team Gold, in the basement not too long ago, has been taking off steadily climbing the standings under the wings of their pilot Mike “Airhog” Rourke. With an impressive 6-2 win and finally in third place, there’s no reason to touch down just yet. Setting their sight next week on Team Red in the “Game of the Week” opener, another win will keep them up in the air for a little while. Team Black, in a downward spiral since goalie Kerry Gillings has been experiencing back pain, is not panicking just yet, especially when their medical team has now come up with the Arthri-Plus spray. Team Black Historian Ed Hussey gave a quick lecture that their 2003 Team Black version was in last place that year at Christmas break before charging in the new year climbing all the way to the top before stalling in the championship game against Team White.
BOHA Call Ups Dept. Bulletin ……
A few anonymous calls to the department requesting higher ranked call ups. A statement issued by the department suggests that statistics show that the earlier a franchise player clicks in his “Miss”, the better chance of getting a more “suitable” call up.
Those players that click in late and it is happening quite often, are costing their team competitiveness as they are most likely replaced by lower rated call ups in order to meet the budget line. BOHA operates in a socialist business model. Steaks for all instead of ice time for few.
|All Games Lopsided And A Few More Goalies Reporting Lower Body Issues|
With both Teams Blue and White PR Departments reporting goalies lower body injuries, teams affected are revising their game plan. If this pattern continues, it’ll be a record year for missed goalies, physically speaking. BOHA Goalie Union is now negotiating with soon to be Website sponsor “Location Ideal” for long term lease on pylons.
For Team White, goalie or no goalie makes no difference as the defensive wall continues to hold up except this time, Team White came out with their offensive game from the get go scoring an easy 7-3 win over Team Gold. With their 6 shots, Team Gold felt Karl Boivin missing stick was the primary reason why they have lost some glitter and why they are back in the basement tied with Team Black. But with a few more shots and wins before the holiday break and maybe a shooting stick pre-X’mas present, Karl Boivin and the Gold diggers might just shoot their way out from the underworld again.
Cabbage rolls on the menu fermented to perfection, Team Blue is the hottest team at least from the menu point of view registering another convincing and easy 8-4 win over Team Black. Not a big deal for the Black. Just a minor setback and a bit of in season rest before the playoff push. They’ll be back soon to live up to their reputation as BOHA best offensive team. As for Team Blue, they’re just happy to have something to nourish on and hydrate.
A shot here and a shot there and the next thing is a 7-2 win for Team Red over Team Green but more importantly overtaking Green in third place with a 4 goal differential advantage. If Team Green continues to let in a goal here and there, they will be playing two late games when the playoff starts.
BOHA Treasury Report:
Billing notice is out for all regulars with outstanding balance. While the grace period is extended for a bit. Field Reporters Association has reliable sources that those with a balance after the grace period may not be invited back next season. Something to do with the economic theory of positive supply and demand curve BOHA is enjoying for the last few years.
|Call Ups make the difference, and almost everyone gets a cold shower.|
This article is a special from Junior Field Reporter Trainee with limited editing.
In a disastrous 3 minutes for Team Green early in the game, Team Black potted 3 goals on their way to building a 4-0 lead over a lackluster Green Team by half time. Green managed to score 3 in the second half but Black added 2 more to finish at 6-3. Black moved the puck with authority throughout the game, while Green seemed to be going in circles. Could the fact that Green had 4 call ups in the forward line and with 5 defensemen have anything to do with their lackluster performance?
In the second game of the evening Team White out scored Team Red in both periods in spite of having a short bench to finish at 6-4. Did a couple of White's players "forget" to click "MISS", or is the team rep roster maneuvering? Maybe it's time the league executive cracked down on this blatant disregard for league regulations.
In the 3rd game of the night, Team Gold managed to outscore Team Blue 2-1 in the 1st half, and then went on to score two more in the 2nd half. However, it was evident that Team Gold got the benefit of a huge upgrade, a League Standings adjustment tool, according to BOHA Call Ups Dept.
Many players were not happy in the dressing rooms after their games as there didn't seem to be any hot water for the showers. A mechanical breakdown, or a cost cutting measure by our new City council. A protest letter from BOHA Shower Committee is on the way to Councilor Pelletier.
News From BOHA SS Dept.
In reviewing last night games, BOHA System Services Dept. has monitored that some teams and players are manipulating the system. A poll is indicating that most, especially the defensemen, don’t like the extra man on the roster. A win win solution is in place and on the priority agenda list. Last night there were 4 players who did not click "MISS", resulting in 8 misses in two weeks and substantial loss of revenue. The Treasury has informed that to date, the lost revenue to date due to this violation is now equivalent to one annual fee and is affecting the menu. The soup is now cut down to cup size.
Not So Cheerful,
Junior Field Reporter Trainee
|Vegas Stymied. Too Many Low Scoring Close Games To Set Odds|
After 10 weeks of action filled games and sometimes boring trap system exhibited by Team White, Vegas Odds Setting Committee has temporarily suspended BOHA from the preferred list. With potential loss of commission revenue, BOHA Treasury is now looking into investing in Blackberry, but must wait for one of its Investing teams to get on board. Team Black has been under performing in the spare revenue department causing a delay to BOHA Treasury Dept. to submit a deposit.
Team Blue, on the surge since Adam Belley pulled off the silent trade went head to head with Team Red, another hot team with 7 out of 10 points in the last 5 games. It was a great tight game until Team Blue, inspired by John Hamilton top shelf tying goal, took advantage of Red’s few defensive lapses in the last 5 minutes with 3 quick goals to continue their surge with a 5-3 win spoiling Team Red post game BBQ spare ribs menu. A content John Hamilton took a bit of time in the shower to reflect on his achievement costing Team Blue extra dressing room rental fee, happily paid for by Steve Graham, another team Blue goal scorer.
With another short benching strategy, Team Black is leading the league with 16 “Did Not Click Miss” putting the league’s Christmas menu on hold till further advice. With 3 short of the legal roster, Team Black just did not have any juice left to mount anything in the second half. Along with the loss, invoice for the loss revenue is in the mail to the Team Black 3 offending players. Team Gold, playing above board and with a bit more conviction earning the 3-2 win, is only 2 points out of 5th position but still satisfied being in the top 6.
Following the same pattern since day 1, Team White played a tight first half, survived an onslaught by Team Green near the end of first half and then with quick and precise transition passes, scored a 4-1 win against Team Green. Like many other teams, Green just could not figure out how to get around the brick defensive wall.
|Junior Field Reporter Trainee's Highlights From Week 8 Games|
Black's Bob Bowrin miffed as substitute goalie leads Team Green to a 3-1 win. Team Green defenseman Mark Dubois finally realized that getting his shot on the net could result in scoring a goal.
Team Gold gave Team Blue a run for the money, trailing 3-1 going into the final minute they pulled their goalie to get an extra attacker on the ice. Unfortunately Team Blue had a couple of snipers on the ice and they potted 2 empty net goals from their end of the rink for an easy win.
Team Red, lead by Ken Lebelle, wearing 2 red socks this week, came out of the starting blocks flying and had a 3 goal lead built up in the 1st 4 min of the game. They potted another 3 goals by the 16 min mark of the 2nd period, and coasted to a 6-2 win over White. Team White is officially in its first slump of the season.
Junior Field Reporter Trainee
|Silent Trades By Team Blue Cause Concern To BOHA. A Rogue Balancing Committee Watchdog Committee Formed |
Controversy is now in half bloom after week 7 saw secret trades and maneuvering by some team executives are causing concerns to BOHA that a self-proclaimed Balancing Committee Watchdog Committee is now in play. Led by the controversial veteran player Frank Kruzich, who holds the record as the 90th player drafted annually since he joined BOHA some 40 years ago, somehow hoodwinked Spare Coordinator Kerry Gillings, Geoff Kinnear, Treasurer Dave Wood and innocent bystander and committee body guard Andy Wozny into this rogue committee and a solidarity photo proof. A red carpet hearing is in the horizon.
In the meantime, Adam Belley, silently accepted a recommended trade for Team Blue. Along with the trades he made during the pre-season draft has catapulted Team Blue into the Premier section of the League and should be out of the bottom tier by next game. With their 3-2 win over Team White, Adam Belley was voted by his teammates as Executive of the Year for his silent moves and then celebrated with pizzas, healthy field grown vegetable with dips, courtesy of Steve Graham. Everyone agreed that this was a big notch above the previous week’s “Foodless and Beverageless” menu. For Team White, it was a big relief that breaking up Team White Big D machine is not going to happen soon now that Team White has been on the short end the last two games.
For Team Red, another team on the move upward has their own remedy of breaking out of the slump. Tired of losing, Team Red Defensive Captain and League VP off ice Dave “The Dude” Connell permutated that dehydration was the main cause of the team malaise. He was spot on with the 3-2 win over League leading Team Black after bringing the “Hydration Beverage Equipment” and tested by Team Rep Kieran Hackett. Another red carpet hearing on this too.
The closeout game was just that. Team Gold, broke out of their slump scoring 2 quick beautiful tape to tape pass goals by outgoing President next season Terry O’Neill and a quick 4-1 lead. Team Green, with 5 replacement players, soon started jiving and made a game of it but in the end just not able to dent a quality team like Gold, also under microscope by Balancing Committee for possible illegal call ups. For Team Green, a good sportsmanship team, a 4-3 loss is still a respectable runner-up position, avoiding a third red carpet hearing.
|Regular Season Back On Track After Successful Tournament. BOHA Introducing New Face Off Rule|
After a record breaking successful Tournament, BOHA regular season was back in full steam to finish off the first cycle. Some teams handled the off week better than others and some did not know or care about the first cycle. About 25 players were still experiencing some type of post tournament stress disorders requiring replacement players to fill in. But most missing players were just disguising their maladies while enjoying a hot dog or two at BOHA top farm team opener who lost 4-3 to the Maple Leafs.
Team Black, the best offensive team in the league, proved the analysts right with a quick jump on Team Gold before allowing Team Gold back into the game but finishing with an easy 5-4 win and going 2 points up on Gold in the standings. Team Black is now looking forward to handing Team White first loss when they meet next week to begin the second cycle.
Team White, surviving a barrage of attacks from speedy replacement players from the Team Green farm team and down 3-2 but not out yet, took over the pace in the last 10 minutes of the game to score the tying goal with 1:39.31 left on the clock earning a 3-3 tie. Team White survived 5 short handed situations but may not be as fortunate starting next week when the ensuing face off after a penalty will be in the offending team zone. In the meantime, the team celebrated going undefeated in the first cycle but Team assistant something Yves Quenneville cautioned that every game is going to be a challenge from now on.
Team Red, desperately holding on to 5th place, was not looking good for a long while against a determined Team Blue. Trying to finish the first cycle with a first win and get out of the bottom of the totem pole, Team Blue Rick Wyjad, who found out earlier he was traded to Team White, was flying and trying to prove his worth but in the end, with 0 goal and no assist, found out why he got traded. Team Red, with the goalie out, came back to tie it 3-3 with 29.3 seconds left on the clock. Boosted by yet to be announced new players in the next cycle, Team Red might just be a contender somewhere down the road.
Report from BOHA Spare Coordinators Division:
BOHA is experiencing higher than normal missing players. But many are clicking in their Miss very late during game day. The result is opportunity lost since spares have made other commitments. While it is understandable that last minute affairs do surface, BOHA newest Miss detection software indicates many just do not bother clicking in till last minute. At this point, tube steak is replacing prime rib in the banquet menu.
Appeal also goes to spares who click in “Request for Games”. The coordinators use this list extensively. They are requesting that if your availability has changed, please go back in your “My Schedules” and remove those games you clicked in as available.
Field Reporters Association Insider Report:
Although not confirmed or denied, Teams Red, Blue and White have made trades.
Team White Roger Richard has cleared waiver, opening a spot for Team Blue to trade Rick Wyjad to Team White reducing their cap space.
Team Red Mike Kneller traded to Team Blue with future considerations. Both teams discussing how many beverages to include in the trade.
Gino Pallante is signed to a one way contract by Team Red President Kieran Hackett.
Bob Saharov is signed to a two way contract by Team Red dual position holder General Manager Kieran Hackett.
|BOHA 2013 Invitational Tournament Schedule September 24 to 29|
|Click for BOHA Tournament Teams Playing Schedule here|
|BOHA 2013 Tournament Documents|
|Click for Volunteer Schedule here|
Click for Sponsor Letter here
Click for Ad Receipt here
Click for Lettre Commanditaire here
|BOHA Taking a Week Break To Host the Annual Charity Invitational Tournament. Field Reporters Association Announces the Virtual “Manager of the Best Draft” Award|
With 16.666% of the season completed, BOHA is taking a week off in preparation of the BOHA Invitational Charity tournament. At the virtual “Manager of The Best Draft” award ceremony, Team White President, CEO, General Manager and Captain Ted Mulhern graciously accepted the award for his draft move of now talk of the league big D Corps. Finishing a close second by ½ vote is Adam Belley for trading his first round goalie pick to last in exchange for a # 1 defence pick. It is now look at as a brilliant move after a new goalie will be named shortly to back up Team Blue. For Team Blue, the prospect of moving out of the basement apartment is looking very good.
To start off the night, Team Red, missing some key players just did not have the kind of game to match the quick rising Team Green losing 6-3. Game was close but a few breakaways broke the game wide open causing Team Red Captain Kieran Hackett to review his Team Roster.
Team Blue Captain Adam Belley, a close runner up in the virtual “Manager of the Best Draft” award, is still in control of his happy team even though another 6-2 loss to Team Black is keeping his team 6 feet underground. For this team, it’s all about having a good gourmet meal after the game. But this is a possum move as news is circulating that they are about to rise up to the occasion.
Team White continues to play the “Curse Free” playoff style hockey. Team Gold came out very quickly, caught Team White off guard just a little bit with eight shots in two short barrages but could not dent the net. Soon Team White system took over, put Team Gold to sleep, scored a goal here and there for a 7-2 win and finishing the first segment in first place and a deserving week rest.
|BOHA In Full Stride. Cracking Down On Those Not Clicking Miss|
|With increased competition and some teams already in danger of not getting an invitation to the playoff invitational round robin series, all team representatives are whipping their players into shapes; some square, some round but most just stayed on whatever shapes they are in. Some Teams are going into as far as roster maneuvering and BOHA Revenue watchdog committee has identified the culprits and now will impose a “Missing tax” + HST on these players, with 3% commission to other teams.|
Team Gold, holding on to a comfortable lead at one point let Team Blue back into the game with some late goals and then sealed it off for a 6-5 close but still a 2 pointer win. The good news is Team Blue Andre Blanchette is back on track after clearance from BOHA Chief Cardiologist and some cardio workouts. Team Blue, feeling the blues and still looking for their first point of the season, did a good job jelling with about 2 minutes left in the game and looking forward to next week challenge before the BOHA Tournament break.
Team White, looking big from the rear, although outshot 31-20, stayed in the game with Team Red long enough and then scored on whatever chances they had to secure a big come from behind win 6-3. Never waiver from their defensive strategy, Team White Big Five defensive trap system confused Team Red quick breakout plan allowing Red’s Jet Jones only one breakaway. Jeff “Jet’ Jones, used to 3 to 4 breakaways every game, was a bit cold and tried a hard slider along the ice to Team White goalie five hole. For Goalie George Tan, it was a matter of doing the basics; keep the new stick, a gift from Team Red premier defenceman Ben Chiasson, on the ice.
With six call ups and no Team Captain, Team Green just did not know what the outcome will be. Fortunately, two veterans Howard Gosselin and BOHA Chief Cardiologist Dr. Jean Pierre Mayer Sr., took the team by the horns, scored a couple of goals each for an easy 6 – 3 win, not only elevating Team Green to second place but winning by a close 3 vote margin, joint players of the night over Team White Ted Mulhern. Behind Team Black dressing room door, BOHA best team so far, has already forgotten the minor setback and focusing on their next victim Team Blue.
BOHA News and PR Dept.
Kieran Hackett, BOHA tournament volunteers head hunter, is busy recruiting workers for BOHA Charity Tournament to begin September 24. Please say yes and help him and the whole league out. This is a very worthwhile time for all Bohaniens to pitch in. Just a few hours of your time will do wonders for countless people less fortunate than we are. To date, all Bohaniens are proud to see we, Bohaniens, have donated over $550,000 to the cause. For all our valued spares, you may not be on a team but you are every bit a Bohanien. Come on out, get to know the boys. This is a great time to put your face in front of your name, a big must when vying for a spot as a regular.
|BOHA Week Witnessing Some Stars Shining. Others Are Mostly Just Dust|
In the second week of the young season, a few Bohaniens are beginning to shine while most others are still just a speck of dust occupying a space somewhere out there trying to form into stars, hopefully sooner than later.
Spectators who were lucky to get a seat from scalpers got their money’s worth as they were treated by Team Black Mathieu Crevier with a beautiful front cut swerve goal leading his team to a 5-2 win over Team Red and by unanimous vote, player of the game and tied with Team Gold Eugene Bunys as Week two Players of the week. Early reports from the Field Reporters Association are pegging Team Black as a major contender to take it all. For Team Red, a bit of development and a few more games under the belt and they should be fine.
Team Gold, whose sweaters were the only thing that were glimmering last week, rebounded strongly and with new shining star Eugene Bunys 2 pinpoint pass assists, toppled Team Green 4-2 and earning him "Best playmaker of the night" and a joint player of the game award with Team Black Mathieu Crevier. Another game like this and Eugene will surpass his personal best assist record, so far a total of 3 assists in 6 years as a Bohanien. With a big smile and a Dagwoods sandwich in hands, Eugene is a happy man.
Team White, whose D corps has now trimmed down by a few pounds to just less than 500 KG, is at it again. As predicted by League Analyst Dr. Jean-Pierre Mayer, Team White is playing a low scoring quick pass out controlled game. Team Blue, forced to play the modified trap game, had their own Blueline “Jet Jones” strategy, got a couple of clean breakaways but the cement set just a tad too early for the Belley brothers hands keeping the game closed but a well deserved 2-2 tie.
All in all, things at BOHA are still according to plan. For next week crucial games, as predicted by BOHA astrologist Ed Hussey, the moon and stars alignment means some teams will win, some may tie and some will lose.
|No Big Surprises for BOHA Season Opener. Everything Went As predicted|
BOHA 52nd season got underway without a hitch. All officials showed up on time and all players reported to their respective teams with a net weight gain of 295 lbs. with Team Blue leading the way.
After the warm up ceremony, Team Blue came out quickly and grabbed a 3-1 lead against Team Green. But with some excess baggage, Team Blue peaked just a tad too soon, slowed down in the second half allowing Team Green to come from behind scoring 7 straight goals to win 8-4 and preventing Team Blue to break out of a 15 year opening loss slump. For Team Green goalie Dave Wood, it was his first game opening win in 15 years after being traded by Team Blue.
Team White, predicted by Vegas to win it all this year, stuck to the plan with a quick pass out transition game from the experienced heavy weight D Corps and came out with a 4-1 win over Team Black. Team Black looks pretty impressive as well and should challenge for the top spot all year long.
Another 4-1 game, the finale game between Team Red and Team Gold was closer than the score indicated. Team Gold, traditionally a slow starter, will right the sail sooner than later.
BOHA competition Dept. was pleased with the first night results and is not planning to overhaul any team just yet.
Highlight of the night:
Voted by BOHA Iron Chef Mark Dubois, Team White won the culinary award with the best spread of the night. Breaded chicken, curried beef wrap with specialty sauce and desserts to top it up. Courtesy of Ted Mulhern Deli Service.
|BOHA 2013-14 On Ice Season Officially Starts Tonight|
|Team White, touted as the team to take it all this season, ended their training camp a day later and now face disciplinary sanction from the league. In an off the record interview with the Field Reporter, Team Rep Ted Mulhern confided that his heavy weight Defensive Corps needed a bit of extra training to get under the league max of one ton. With the new wall strategy in place, Team White D Corps will have to sharpen their reverse C cuts to avoid the speedy forwards from Team Black tonight. All other teams are reporting in tip top condition as well. |
Red carpet ceremony to start on time and first game time is 8PM.
|BOHA Season Starting August 20 With Face-Off Night At The St. Anne Legion|
|With 90 players drafted for the coming season in record time, BOHA is set to welcome the start the season with the traditional Face-Off night where all players drafted and spares meet and have a bit of cold refreshments before the first games start on August 27.|
Stay tuned for the announcement from the league secretary for details !!!!
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